Why New Years Eve?

Now that Christmas has come and gone, I feeling as through the next holiday is staring me down, no way around it, it's coming, this week. I sat today, asking myself why do I put such emphasis on New Years Eve? I commented to a friend, if I was the only one. Apparently, at lunch today, I was. The end of something, the start of something new, or as my friend pointed out, "it's just another evening". The other pointed out how much she liked staying home on New Years, putting on cozy PJs and not having to face crowds, pay for overpriced foods, she questioned why anyone would want to go out and brave them.

I explained, on the years I have my kids, I dont' mind celebrating at home one bit. It's the years, like this one, that I feel since I am kidless I should be out and about, doing something important, special, monumental. The problem is I'm not quite sure what that is.

So, as the new year is about to occur, I find myself searching for insite, knowledge, advice as to how I should be starting it out. Two magazines later, I am formating a bit of a motivational headache. Eat healthier, spend less, exercise more, you can do it! I feel a bit exhausted already and I haven't taken the first step. Perhpas, the advice in a recent book, NOT to make New Years Resolutions, is looking like a rather wise choice for me right about now.

I always seem to watch the clock on New Year's Eve, down to the last minutes, second, as if something magical will happen as the numbers roll over to 12:00. As the ball lights up in Time Square and this year's host of Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve, and this years hosts break into their chorus of, "Should Old Aquatiance Be Forgot", it's time, something is suppose to happen.

When I was married, I use to nudge, wake-up my sleeping husband, to share what I thought was suppose to be an earth-shattering kiss to celebrate/kick-off the New Year. Of course, I don't ever recall fireworks going off, or magic occuring anywhere near me. I just remember that sigh, "well, it's here, now what", feeling that overtakes me in that next moment. I really dont' know what I expect to ccur, why I try and get my hopes up about something, an evening, to provide a miracle or sudden burst of insite and excitement.

I sit here thinking, if I have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything this New Years, what should I pick? Maybe my friends suggestion to stay in and put on cozy PJs for the night isn't the worst idea in the world. I guess I'll have to ponder at that one somemore, I do have three more days to decide I suppose.