Thank you Pinterest. For that inspiration quote and many, many others I have discovered over the past couple weeks. A few Thursdays ago, I was saying to a friend how depressed I was surfing aimlessly through Facebook postings and she said...that is when you go to Pinterest! Huh? Yes, I discovered yet another world out here on the web. One a bit more inspirational (if you aren't looking at the fitness images that I just can't be comparing myself to today/yet). I have already come across craft, food, photography, style/fashion ideas, but the most fun I have are repinning "inspirational quotes". I have have been manually saving these types of tid-bits the old fashion way, with a pen and paper, over the years...but I have hit a gold mine on my new evening addiction.
Today, ready through, repinning a few, I was thinking through my day/weekend as I always tend to do on Sunday nights. This time I had a different take on a few of the things going through my mind. I started wondering why is it we allow other people's thoughts, comments, reactions or lack of actions to have any say on how we feel?
When I switch back to Facebook and read through postings I often begin to wonder why am I searching through this site? I love to see pics of my friends/their kids, hear good news...but so often it turns out to be other stuff. I'm guilty as well, of posting negativity. But why do we do it, to wait for someone else to comment to help us feel better or justify that we have the right to feel that way? Why do we spend hours online or repeatedly check back in for updates...are we watching for some earth-shattering news? I have a close friend who still refuses to use Facebook. She is convinced it's evil. That it allows to many people to easily make choice they shouldn't and couldn't as easily be doing otherwise. I have always seen her point to this. I have spoke with another person about a week ago, while I was update a bit of my own personal life and apparently I hadnt' realize how I had been hurt by things on Facebook until the other person commented how evil Facebook can be...how it can really hurt people...yet it's a way to stay connected to so many and we discussed a bit the yin-yang to that. Then this weekend, I had texted my sister about something and said she must not have seen it on Facebook yet...about an hour later she type back upset about something else she had seen posted and explained that's why she tries to stay off of that thing, it only upsets her...hmmm maybe some folks in my life are onto something here....
On a similar plane/note, this idea of reconnecting, staying connected with people who have exited our lives in someway or another. Technology has allowed us so easily to reconnect, often I think when perhaps we shouldnt' be. With texting so much easier than picking up a phone and actually having to talk to someone...leaving a message or post on Facebook...I am discovering more and more often that comments in print, with no voice, to emotion or change to explain further why those words are being said...can so easily cause confusion, pain...I'm not sure if all this communication via technology is a good thing. I somehow am still in contact with all of the men I have had relationships with over the past couple years since my divorce. At times, I feel this is a good thing, that we are able to stay friends...but any of you reading this know, you can't really do that...not when the other person has moved on to someone new in their lives. You find yourself comparing or questioning, why her? What does she have that I don't? I think it's just human nature to do this. Even when you know deep down, you will never end up with this person, why does she get too? Back when I was first entering this dating world, that was never an issue. Thanks to our wonderful technology, I can create a puddle of self-pity in a moment by just clicking the right buttons.
Then there is that lovely world of texts. The ones that are not currently in a relationship, text in just to "see how you are".....which end up leading to making sure you haven't been on any hot dates lately, leading up to wanting to see you again.
Wait a second here...isn't there a reason why we are not currently a couple? Just because I am not currently in a relationship, doesn't mean I will jump at any opportunity to suddenly be back in your arms...does it? Why do some men think this? Oh and a few are good at the timing too...after 10/11 at night so you are a bit tired and perhaps depressed....yes, let's make that a Friday or Saturday night, because, then if you are sitting home alone, it someone is extra depressing. Yes, Saturday night I heard from one, going on about coming to see me again over his Christmas vacation, making a big deal about it...going on and on and when you are tired you keep texting in a tired daze, or at least I do. Then, the next day or evening, you try a friendly text back. Nothing. Yah, you are playing right into it aren't you Lisa. Wake up silly and reread those Pinterest quotes you have been repinning.
Luckily, I was blessed with a great weekend/overall of time with my children. We were able to continue some of our holiday traditions and I was able to for the most part steer clear of this depression cloud or magnet that is trying to hover over me lately. This, plus a couple good nights of rest helped me view a few of the events over the weekend a little clearer. I love it when I am actually capable of doing that.
As a good female friend and I were chatting a week ago about perspective, we were both commenting about different things in our personal lives, that we know the right and wrong, we know the things we can't control and know how we should be responding/acting/reacting, but were both saying how difficult it is in life to know something and to be able to truly apply it and live it in your own personal lives. Whether it happens to be people in the past that you've dated/been in relationships with that deep down you know are not good for you/not the right ones, that you know you should just stop having any contact with so that you can focus on the positive and moving forward. Yet for some reason as humans, we don't always do what we know we should. Or with work or other relationships in our lives. We know what we should do, how to stand up and stand strong, etc. yet, we allow comments said by other to be taken personally and hurt us when we shouldn't be.
I know I am or can be a very intelligent person. I have double major in college, I have read many, many self-help/psychology books...I get what I am suppose to do to stay clear of depression, to stay clear of toxic people, to keep up my self-esteem. But why is it we allow ourselves to fall when we know the right things deep down somewhere? I'm still working on that answer...
But I do have a few fun quotes from the past few days to leave you with this time:
"Being single doesn't mean you are weak. It means you are strong enough to wait for what YOU deserve."
"Just because God doesn't answer your prayers doesn't mean He's not listening. He's just got something better in store for you."
"A women has to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one."
"At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your HEART but not in your LIFE."
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles." -Charlie Chaplin
"If he's stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go."
Okay I think that's a good one to stop on tonight. Yah, okay, one more...
"At any given moment in life, you have to power to say: this is NOT how my story is going to end!"
Until next time good nite...or rather good morning, I guess it's now 12-12-11...hmm can't wait to see how much better life will be on 12-12-12 :)
