"why don't ya put it on your blog, ya'll, rockin like this is my job, ya'll"
-Black Eyed Peas, "I wanna be"
The Black Eyed Peas are quite the hit at the gym I've discovered, not to mention on my radio. I've had quite a week of new experiences. A week ago, last Sunday, I finally took the steps through the door and into a gym...oh of course I had done my research before this...class, fees, times, options, childcare, so much so that I kept asking questions before the fitness counselor showing me around had a chance to get to it. He commented that I really did my homework...well yes, that's me.
Touring the gym was one thing, coming back to actually use it...I bought my first combination lock in years, and quickly discovered you need to bring your own towel for the showers. (Note to others, if you need to, your t-shirt you just worked out in can work, if it's all ya got) I tried out the Women's room, where there are a few machines and equipment that is not out in the main room in front of everyone...but Monday morning, when I first brought my kids and attended the Pilates Sculpt class I had my first experience to sweat in front of others. The kids room, speaking of my kids, was a hit (thank goodness!) as it has kick-boxing/skateboarding/dance interactive games among other things. On Tuesday, my one on one with a personal trainer. This was my true test...lifting barb bells while balancing on a ball, using the weight room, foot press, and other cool machines I don't yet know the name of, but I tried them all...the most challenging...the SCALE! I didn't like what it said, which is why I don't use one at home...and then the figuring of my body mass. Well, I came back Wednesday night and then another INTENSE session on Thursday morning with my trainer. She was having me work on Biometrics (sp?) and I literally felt and saw my body shaking as I was being pushed to my limits.
This is what I needed, to be pushed, challenged, I need to get in shape. I need to feel better about my body image. I need to gain self esteem. This is where my Friday night Zumba class fits in. OMG! Is exactly what I texted three friends when I caught my breathe upon finishing that class. I LOVED it!!! Dance lessons, fun, fast, entertaining and an extreme workout. What a riot that was! As I told someone, if my friends could see me now...let's just say quite the 'saucy moves'...not very Lisa-like, but so fun!!! I will be going back!
What have I learned so far? It's not a place filled with only toned, in shape girls and guys although there are plenty of them there....I learned I am not the largest or oldest there by all means. I appreciate that there are people of all shapes and sizes there. I have also learned that most of those working out are so focused on their own workouts, they could care less what you are doing or look like. I learn there are very knowledgeable, supportive trainers. Oh wait, I can't forget this mornings BodyPump class!!! I would suggest coming just for the entertainment...and of course the workout you get with it. We were doing some quite sexy moves in there too...Can't wait until I'm in shape and can go out to some places in Madison to try out all these moves.
You certainly can get addicted to all of this. It is a great feeling when you accomplish a workout. My energy level has went up and the drive to keep going. I am wanting to find healthier foods as I continue as well.
A couple close friends pointed out, questioned why I was doing all of this, concerned if I was doing this to appear thinner/more in shape/to look more appealing to guys, as one said, "you should be doing it to be a more positive Lisa". Yes, well, I am hoping to accomplish both at this point. Sadly, I think some of it is that I am not happy with how I currently look. But I think part of liking me is liking that I am working on becoming healthy and I have a good friend that warned me, if I go to far with this, he's gonna be yelling at me.
Speaking of getting in trouble/being yelled at...I am human and have been slipping up on the 'no dating' goal I was/am trying to achieve. One man, quite "yummy' I think was what my sister called this pic of him, winked at me on match and starting IMing with him. Wednesday night, after working out, I was on my way to meet him...knowing full well that we would not be a match, yet why was I going? Fate...or something would have it...my phone rang as I was driving in to Madison and a friend asked me to dinner. It was the sign I needed, not to go and I had a wonderful talk and evening with my friend.
He gave me some perspective, whether I wanted it or not, that I don't need to be so stressed and worried. That I create a lot of it by how I react to things going on around me. I don't have to waist so much energy on it. He said I needed to relax and enjoy the life I have. I said I was worried about what I was suppose to be doing with my life, work wise, free time wise. He said enjoy it. First, what I really need to do is to learn how to relax and he dared/challenged me to just sit for like 4/5 hours and do nothing. Well, I couldn't do that, but I did take on a version of that today that another friend alluded too. I went to State Street, downtown Madison for the first time by myself...to the Farmer's Market and then walked around State Street, enjoyed the shops, the art gallery, people watching. I had a great time, even on my own! I even went into the crowed, "Old Fashion" and had a beer and burger at the bar and it was great. I had a green tea as I sat outside at Michelangelo's and journaled a little/while watching interesting people everywhere. A women rode past on a bike with body paint all over her body and when i was in a store, a women checking me out at the register asked if I had seen the naked guy on the bike this afternoon...I responded no, but I saw the women covered in colorful paint.
It is true, I am being a bit egocentric, thinking that others will be watching and judging me at the gym, or at a restaurant while I eat alone or walk around downtown alone. They all have lives and troubles/joys of their own. Why I have spent/wasted so much time thinking of what others will think of me...something to still ponder.
L.
