Where do I begin?
I suppose when I got up this morning. It was the second day of the new school year and I finally had both kids up and about to sit down to breakfast with my son. I don't recall what was said or what triggered the comment, but my 6, almost 7 year old son tells me that he didn't like it when Dad tried making him wear a diaper. I was taken off-guard, not sure what he was talking about or where the comment had come from...what are you talking about, I questioned and he continued that Daddy was trying to put a diaper on him and he tried doing those Ompa's (a move he learned in the month of marital arts he tried during August) to get him to stop. I questioned if he asked his sister for help...he said even more mad, she was laughing at me!!!! I looked across into the family room and said, WHAT? She said, "No I wasn't and then couldn't keep a straight face...well, it was funny mom!" I couldn't comprehend what on earth they were talking about...she then said, "well I had one on too!"...this from my almost 10 year old daughter. My son had now refused to eat and ran into my bed and hid under the blanket. I tried to explain to my daughter, that's not okay! Why does he even have diapers? Can't you throw them away next time you are there? She responded, no mom, what if I want to put them on Snowy (their new cat)...no that's not okay either I tried to rationalize as I went down the hall to speak with my son.
He was curled up saying, Mom I really didn't like it went he did that, I dont' want him to do that again! I said that I don't either and I am so sorry he had to go through that. We managed to talk about something else and make it down to the bus stop to pass out the surprise Happy Friday treat we had for the neighbor friends. As the kids left on the bus and the parents excitedly said a three day weekend...I headed home to get ready for work thinking, I am so not looking forward to this...
I showered, made it in to work slightly before my meeting and explained what I had heard at breakfast to a co-worker I trust...she said, that is NOT OKAY LISA! I know, I said, I just dont' know what I can do now? I said I planned to call the Child Protective Services after my meeting and update them, but again..what will they do? Then to think they have to go to his place tonight through Tuesday morning...
I made it through my meeting, not saying a thing but then while in my office, I told a close friend/co-worker and she too thought I should go tell the school psycologist at my son's school...I felt like there had to be someone I should/could tell. I am glad I did...as she will hopefully meet with him when they are back in school Tuesday and after that touch base so that hopefully he'll know she is someone he can talk to at school.
As if I wasn't disturbed enough on the way home, the phone rang. It was my doctor, calling about the results from my physical on Tuesday. She had never called in the past ten years I had been going to her, so as I said, you must be calling with bad news. Sure enough, she had found abnormal cells during my pap test and I need to come back in for further testing next week. She pointed out it could be HPV, which I did not know about until after all the research I did this afternoon/evening...or worse case, the beginning stages of cervical cancer. I learned all the details online. I don't know if having all those facts out there is a good thing or not...but I didn't know what to think or do. I called my friend at work back to tell her I was glad I did see the school pyscologist and then about the phone call I just received...I told her I just don't know how much more I can take and as we are about to get off the phone, I am holding the back door open for my dogs to come back in and the larger furry guy is covered with burrs. As soon as I hung up the phone I broke down into tears. I just couldn't take anymore.
Before I knew it, there was a text from my ex, asking if I still wanted the kids part of this weekend. Well of course! An hour before they were coming home from school, but fine with me and the kids didn't seemed phased by it when they got off the bus and home to tell me about their second day. After a bit of Disney Channel tweeny shows, we decided to head to Rocky's in Madison to celebrate the first day of school, since I had a Preschool Orientation I had to attend last night. While playing the games, yup it's one of those Rocky's, I hit the jackpot and over 100 tickets came out. My daughter, nearby heard the game making all kinds of sounds, came over and started cheering for me. Well, something went well today. I hit the jackpot on tickets...which I of course, divided equally between both kids to pick out small inexpensive prizes. Really, the best part was getting back into the minivan and asking them if they had fun...that was awesome Mom, with a huge smile on my son's face was what I needed. We made it through today. Tomorrow, although forcasted stormy, will be spent with them.
Now, if I could only keep myself off the computer, stop reseraching what I could find out on Tuesday. It's scary what is out there and how we have no control over it.
Welcome to my life, under this hopefully soon passing cloud.
