Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 112:7-8
Larry Crowne, with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, was just what I needed this Sunday afternoon. Now , as I am curled up in a brown cozy leather chair at Barriques, enjoying an iced Tai Chi Latte, I am wondering why I had earlier felt any concern as to what I was going to spend my afternoon doing. It's amazing how I seem to feel the need to fill my time doing something "productive".
Yesterday, as I faced an entire day with nothing planned, with my good friend at my side, I felt this strong pulling inside me that I needed to be making plans. What should we do today? What are we going to do tonight? He questioned, kindly but honestly, why do you need to have everything planned out, why can't you just relax. He continued, by stating that if you keep going and going with your kids all week, and then all weekend, you just can't keep up at that pace. I know I quickly interrupted, eventually, yes, I will crash. He asked, then why dont' you spend some of the time without your children relaxing, just doing nothing, so you can be refreshed, recharged and have energy to spend with then when they return.
Okay, he had an excellent point, I agreed, but said, I just have a hard time relaxing, feeling guilty that I am not begin productive, accomplishing something. "We'll have to work on that" he said. Interestingly enough, the sermon at church this morning was on the topic of coming too God, all who are weary and find rest. During the children's sermon, the pastor made a joke about what type of rest Jesus had in mind...offering a friend a pillow, blankie and stuffed doggie to cuddle with.
One of the messages I heard, was a reminder that God wants us to come to him when we are weary, tired, fearful, sad, upset and to lay our worries our sorrows at the cross and He will take care of them. As I write this, I am reminded of a conversation I had with my friend on the way to church this morning. He had asked me if I was nervous, apparently picking up on my fidgeting that I wasn't aware of. I replied no, well yes, maybe a little, as I had never brought a person I was dating to church with me. As I told him, having a friend that would attend worship with me was on my list. Once upon a time, I had made up a list of qualities or such that I would want in a future boyfriend, once my divorce had finally ended and I began dating again.
I looked down at my wrist, at my bracelet, and commented how I had worn that bracelet on our first date, my fidget item to play with when I got nervous. He questioned if I was nervous on our first date, to which I responded, well yes. But now as I think more about it, I was nervous on my way, prior to our date but not during it. I then asked him if he was nervous on our first date and he looked over at me and calmly smiled, saying no. I asked, how could you not have been nervous? His response, "God has a plan for me and I trust him."
Okay, fine, he got me. I know it's not a contest, but if it was, he has me beat on this whole faith in God thing. I wish my faith was as strong as his is and am tyring to work on it. He is a good example for me in this way.
Which bring me back to the movie this afternoon. Julia Roberts character was in a bad place in her life. Her husband soon to be ex husband treated her quite poorly and here came Tom Hanks' character, although not as highly educated, he was a gentleman. As he was opening a door for her, she was quite taken back, as I too have been a time or two lately. She commented, stunned at his behavior, you open doors, you are a true gentleman. His character had hit a low point in his life as well. He was starting over in many aspects, but was true to himself...a true, honest, kind gentleman, showing respect to all those around him.
Friday night, on our way out of my friend's church, his step-mom and I were approaching the car and once again, he came around and opened my car door for me, as he always does. As I got into his car, I commented a bit nervously, that I am still not use to having doors held for me. He is the first man I've dated that opens doors for me. She responded, "Lisa, let him do it! You deserve it to be treated with respect!" She continued, "That's one thing I still remember from the first date I went on with his dad, he opened doors for me and still does to this day. A true sign of a gentleman." I am not sure if she had said that last line, but after seeking the movie this afternoon, I felt as though it would be appropriate to bring it up today.
As I sit and reflect on this past week, filled with so many great memories, too many to record right now, one does stick out in my mind. Wednesday night, I attended the first Concert on the Square of the season, this year though, not on my own. As I had been sharing my blog with my friend recently, I noticed my first entry I decided to publish...it was a year ago, almost to the date. I was venturing off to the Concerts on the Square alone last year, as I hadn't been in so many years and was determined that not having a man in my life shouldn't be limiting me as to what I was out there doing and enjoying in life. This year, I have a man that was excited to take me. So much so, he had went downtown and set out a blanket on the lawn of the capitol earlier in the afternoon. He later pointed out how he had picked this exact location so that we could see the orchestra, but be out of the direct sun, under the shade of a nearby tree so that we won't be too hot or have to worry about the sun in our eyes. He had packed too small coolers, one with ice water and the other with beer from the Brewery we had toured together, in fact had picked up a special bottle of their Wisconsin Belgian Red Style Ale Brewed with Door County Cherries.
It's hard to believe we will have been dating a month now this Wednesday. He joked last night, that he'd better hurry up and go buy me a ring, as it was just after a month my last boyfriend had proposed to me. He knew I had asked, early on, that no matter how things went with us, just please don't propose to me after only a month or two!
Kindly, he agreed, yet still we laugh about it. It was funny Friday night, while chatting with a friend of his, I said I reluctantly went out on that first dinner date and there hasn't been a span of about 3-4 waking hours that we haven't either spoke, texted or seen each other since. It really is amazing how God works in our lives. As I ran across this verse today, I thought it summarized my life lately perfectly.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." I do think God knows what he is doing. I am trying to keep and strengthen my faith each day, now with help.
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